Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once?
I am one of those melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it.

Jan 2, 2007

F*CK NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS




So this is it: no new year's resolutions for me, so sick of making rules for myself that I never accomplish. This year I'm just gonna go with the flow... I just hope "the flow" goes with me too cause let me tell you something... this past year things didn't go AT ALL as I planned them.

But for one second, or at least for as long as I'm writing this, I'll try to stay away fron the negative and try to think positive.... At least I had a good start (this is the part wher I actually use this website as a journal). I went to my friend Diego's beach house this weekend, there were 5 guys and 2 girls. At one point I was one of the guys, they were actually talking to me about women, asses, tits, farts, burps, vomiting stories and so on... but fortunately I did have one or two moments where I felt like a woman (I'll leave that to the imagination cause it's more fun like that). We drank so much it was actually kinda fun cleaning up the next day; I got a tan (I needed one SOOO much); I danced like crazy, so crazy I thought my hip would fall off!; We made jokes, we made up jokes; we teased each other even to the point where fingers were getting squished; balls were getting hit by newspapers and bellybuttons were... welll... were being photographed with a one dollar bill rolled in (don't ask).

In the end I had a very good time, I tried not to think about the things that get me really sad (some may call that "escaping from things" but I just call it being really sensible).





As you probably noticed I loved postsecret's blog. Every sunday they post new secrets and this one caught my attention... It make look kinda dark or depressing but I think is just "simple" and that's what I like about it. I would be kinda hard to explain (here) the connection between this and my new year story... but they are indeed connected in so many ways it makes kinda scary but at the same time challenging. It's not that I am not myself, it's the opposite actually: I get too tired of being myself sometimes that I wish I had more strength to handle it better. But, now that I think about it (and I'm gonna quote a very interesting movie "I heart Huckabees") "HOW AM I NOT MYSELF?"or in this case WHEN ARE YOU YOURSELF AND WHEN AREN'T YOU?what is "self"? when does it become "yours" or "mine"?. I think (and I'm gonna try to answer my own question here) that the moment you feel "FREE" that's the moment you're being your whole self. But "FREEDOM" is a tricky concept too; people can really mess up that concept really fast... There is one person (it's not the only one but I'm thinking of him right now) with whom I feel totally liberated; I feel PEACE opposite to my crazy life where I'm always running, laughing, crying, driving, making sure everything is ok, everyone is amused... when I'm with him it's just calm... and I think THAT'S EXACTLY THE MOMENT I'M BEING MY TRUE SELF because I don't care about anything I JUST AM... Maybe I'm divagating but I do think it's important to have this auto-psychoanalysis moments cause they help you look at things from a different perspective...






I just got my first set of Tarot cards. I always looked at them at the store but were afraid to buy one... I don't know why (maybe the word is not "afraid" but intimidated). I don't really believe in this stuff (or maybe I do) but I think it will be fun to learn how to read this stuff and finally become a real witch! I'll let you know if it really works out; some people has told me I had "the gift".... now we'll see ;)
Well being 2:20 am and having like 5 hours sleep in two days I'll leave you for now... a little more peaceful, a little happier, a lot less in love...
Good Night my little ones.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Since most of your site is been developed ussing Shakespeare's languaje, I'll use the same languaje. If you would like to change to Cervante's let me know.
Let me tell you something (I hope you'll consider it).
The use of divination as a means to “communicate” with angels is not uncommon. One source outrightly encourages its readers to employ rune stones, tarot cards, I Ching coins, palmistry, and astrology. “Allow your inner knowing self to lead you to the right oracle,” the authors write, “and trust that an angel will meet you there.”

One popular form of spiritism is divination—attempting to find out about the future or the unknown with the help of spirits. Some forms of divination are astrology, crystal-ball gazing, interpretation of dreams, palmistry, and fortune-telling with the use of tarot cards. Many view divination as harmless fun, but the Bible shows that fortune-tellers and wicked spirits go hand in hand. For example, Acts 16:16-19 mentions “a demon of divination” that enabled a certain girl to practice “the art of prediction.” However, her ability to foretell the future was lost when the demon was expelled. Clearly, divination is a bait used by the demons to lure people into their trap.

According to the Bible, however, whatever ‘meets you there’ certainly is not one of God’s angels. Why? Because divination stands in open defiance of God, and true worshipers—in heaven and on earth—have nothing to do with it. Why, in Israel divination was a capital offense! “Everybody doing these things is something detestable to Jehovah,” the Law stated.—Deuteronomy 13:1-5; 18:10-12.

Luv ya'
Your nephew

SOY GARRIK

Cuántos hay que, cansados de la vida,
enfermos del pesar, muertos de tedio,
hacen reír como el actor suicida,
sin encontrar para su mal remedio!

¡Ay! Cúantas veces al reír se llora,
Nadie en lo alegre de la risa fíe,
porque en los seres que el dolor devora,
el alma gime cuando el rostro ríe.

Si se muere la fe, si huye la calma,
si sólo abrojos nuestra planta pisa,
lanza a la faz la tempestad del alma,
un relámpago triste: la sonrisa.

El carnaval del mundo engaña tanto,
que las vidas son breves mascaradas;
aquí aprendemos a reír con llanto
y también a llorar con carcajadas.